September 24th, 1984

Japanese Letter Text:

ひつこい おまわりさん たち え
このなつは えろう あつかったな
おまえらの せいで わしら ヨオロッパえ いけへんかった
いつか かならず いったるで
なんども 顔 あわせとるのに なんで わしらを つかまえて
くれへんねん わしらも テレビに でてみたい
警官広田は かっこ ぇぇゃんか
おおさか婦警の よしの君 ワトソン君と 相談 してみたかね
あほは なんぼ がんばっても かまや
この未えの 森永の TEL あれ なんや サラリーマンは
TELで りょおかい なんて いわへんで
レストランから 守口まで 2きろも あらへんのに なんで
1じかんも かかるんや
にせ社員の デカ ええ せぴろ きとったけど めっきの わるさ
デカまるだしや わしら 守口市の えきまえで 顔 あわしとるんや
ピストルだして とったろか おもたけど やめたった
あんな おっさん いびっても しょない
森永の どあほが わしらに さからいおったから 1億ゃったら
たらんのや
あんな どじばかり しとったら 小がくせいでも あいて して
くれへんように なるで
こくみんの ぜい金 むだづかい せえへんよおに もっと
べんきょう せぇや
かい人21面相

English Translation:

Dear Persistent Police men,
This summer was ridiculously hot.
Because of you guys, I couldn’t go to Europe.
I’ll go one day.
We’ve seen you so many times, why won’t you catch us?
We want to be on TV too.
Officer Hirota is handsome.
To the female police officer in Osaka, Ms. Yoshino, did you talk to Watson?
Stupid people are stupid no matter how hard they try.
That phone call with Morinaga the other day. What was that? Salary men don’t say "Ryokai" over the phone.
There aren’t even 2km between the restaurant and Moriguchi, how did it take an hour?
The fake employee was wearing a nice business suit, but the way his eyes are made it obvious that he was part of the police.
You saw our faces in front of the station at Moriguchi city.
I thought about getting my gun out and shooting them, but I decided not to.
There’s no point bullying some old man like that.
Since that stupid Morinaga disobeyed us, 100 million yen isn’t enough.
If you keep making a fool out of yourself like that, even kids will stop bothering to care about you.
Stop wasting the tax payer’s money and study some more.
Monster with 21 faces.

On September 24th 1984 the letter arrived at Mainichi, Yomiuri and Asahi newspapers.